2018 Mid Year Reflection, Part 3

July 22, 2018
July 22, 2018 Team Positive

2018 Mid Year Reflection, Part 3

All good things must come to an end: this week, we’ll be coming to an end for this July Mid Year Reflection trilogy series.

I really do hope you’ve been blessed by the lessons and experiences shared!

And, I do really hope that you’ll take all these lessons and experiences shared with much consideration.

It really has been a big benefit to me through the last 6 months, and I believe many more months to come as well.

The funny thing is this- at the time of writing this Mid Year Reflection series, God has revealed even more things to me, on top of the things I’ve shared!

And I do hope that God will reveal something more in you as well!

Onto this week’s reflection:


1. Have “Me-Time”

Personally for me, I do fear of being alone.

I’m constantly on the edge, wanting to go out and socialise with others, and spend time with others.

And in recent times, this has caused me to forgo a lot of my own “Me-Time”; a time where I get to spend time on my own.

A time where I get to have quality time for myself to read, write, journal, think, rest, doodle, play guitar and drums, and even game.

Don’t get me wrong- it is equally as important to spend time with my close friends, family, and loved ones.

But occasionally, I need to spend time loving and caring for myself as well.

A short distancing of myself from the outside world, and just spend time inwardly with myself. Having some tender-loving care for myself, and just enjoying my own presence.

Most of the time, when I find myself spending too much time with others, I feel overwhelmed and drained.

I really do need time alone by myself to think, to read, and to do the things that I love.

It may sound greedy, but at this stage of my life, I’m trying to give myself more attention and care.

I’m trying to love myself more.

And one of the things I can do for myself is to give my own self some “Me-Time” to breathe, to relax, and to enjoy the peace and serenity that comes with it.

If you never had your own personal “Me-Time” before, let me highly encourage you to try it one of these days.

Sometimes, we all just need to spend some time loving ourselves.

Which leads me to my second point:

 

2. Love yourself

For most of my life, I’ve always despised myself- for the person that I am, broken, defeated, useless.

And I’m not saying this to fish for compliments and pity.

I’m sharing this with you because these sort of negative judgments and self-hate towards my personality, characteristics, and even my body has led me down a destructive path.

A harsh, critical path filled with judgment, self-belittlement towards my own self.

There was a lot of anger, hatred, bitterness, whining, complaining, and they were mainly around this topic- why can’t I be better?

This led me to a path where I needed to do more.

I needed to constantly excel.

I always demanded more from myself.

I made sure I gave my heart, my mind, and my strength.

I strived for greatness, and toiled I did.

I pushed my body over its limits, and tried to take on the challenges one huge chunk at a time.

I felt overwhelmed and drained, yet I still chose to enslave my body to the toilings and hard works to prove myself wrong.

I wanted to prove to myself that I’m capable.

But, what I ended up was with a lot of burdens, a lot of worries and anxieties, a lot of troubles and fears, a lot of sleepless nights, a lot of anger outburts and breakdowns, and quite a few burnouts as well.

It’s a destructive cycle I need to get out. My health is on the line!

Recently, a friend challenged me this- instead of being harsh and critical about yourself, be thankful of yourself, and for who you are.

Be thankful as a person. Be thankful for my talents and gifts. Be thankful for the good works I’ve done for the day. Be thankful for being able to provide for myself. Be thankful that I have a house and a car.

And most of all, be thankful that I’m alive and I get to spend another day with the people I love.

Know your worth today. You are made in the image of God, you are his Masterpiece, and your life has been bought by another life, Jesus Christ.

You’re not worthless; you are priceless.

 

“Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.”
Luke 12:7

“So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.”
Genesis 1:27

 

3. Anger isn’t a sin; your response is.

In days where nothing feels right- everything feels like it’s crumbling down.

Days where everything is going wrong.

Frustrations and anger abounds.

It’s very tempting for us to curse, and have an anger explosion. My confession: that’s the sort of posture I have- I tend to explode, and curse.

I know it’s not the best way to release the anger, and I’m consciously working on it.

And that’s my negative response to how I feel when I’m angry.

The feeling of frustration of anger is okay. That’s what our hearts and emotions feel.

I’m not saying that you should completely ignore and disregard your anger. But what I’m leading to is this: how do you react when you are angry?

 

“”In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,”
Ephesians 4:26

 

In anger, do not lash out and make rash decisions, like I do.

Do not make the same mistakes I’ve made countless times when I get angry.

It’s not worthwhile to make hurtful statements, to do regrettable actions, or to eve burn bridges.

The consequences of the actions done in anger can yield major destructions and repercussions.

And, those are some of the destructions and repercussions you may end up regretting in the future.

I know I have made a lot of poor decisions in life, and most of them came through anger.

So please, whenever you are angry, please do take a step back, and breathe before you make a rash decision.

Excuse yourself from situations or circumstances that are triggering you so it doesn’t cause you to explode.

Don’t make regrettable decisions when you’re angry.

 

“for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”
James 1:20

 

4. Have good counsel around you.

In the last year or so, I’ve been subconsciously surrounding myself with friends and counsel who I can trust my life with.

A group of men and women who are like-minded, and are willing to journey alongside with me in this phase of my life.

And, I am extremely blessed by them- their presence, their support, and their advices have been more than beneficial to me.

Their wisdom and experiences have been vital in my life; steering and guiding me to the right path that I need to be on.

They keep me accountable to what I do- they keep me grounded whenever I start drifting away.

They check up on me whenever I go through struggles and issues.

And they have been challenging me to become a better person- to improve myself in places where I’m lacking.

And I’m so blessed to have these people in life.

This sort of counsel, or peer-to-peer mentorship, has been beneficial to my growth and development over the last year, especially when I was transitioning into a different phase of my life.

If you don’t have a group of wise counsel, or great friends who can advice you, I highly encourage you to find a group of trusted compatriots that wants the best for your life.

Their presence will challenge, and sharpen you to be better.

 

“As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.”
Proverb 27:17

“Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.”
Proverbs 11:14

 

5. Apologise for your mistakes.

One of the things I struggle with is to ask for forgiveness as well.

And it’s hard to ask for forgiveness, especially when you feel like you’re the one who was wounded in a circumstance or situation.

It makes it even harder to apologise and ask for forgiveness when the wound actually brings your countenance down.

Hurtful, abusive, and shameful words get thrown out at you just because of a small silly accidental mistake you made.

Despite this hurt and wounding, we still can choose to ask for forgiveness.

 

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.”
Matthew 5:9

 

We’re called to be peacemakers.

And sometimes, it’s hard for us to apologise and to ask for forgiveness. But there’s a restorative power in asking for forgiveness.

Asking for forgiveness can mend and restore the relationship.

Asking for forgiveness can help you to let go of the shame you carry from that encounter. It can set you free from shame and guilt!

Don’t let your shame and guilt wear you down.

 

6. Ask for help!

Occasionally, I get too caught up in my own problems and struggles. The fear, the worries, the anxiety and doubt- these things overwhelm us.

And in these situations, I forget to approach my trusted group of friends and counsel, and seek advice or even help from them!

It’s ironic- on one hand, I’m so grateful for them being present in my life and being there during my times of need; but on the other, I just completely forget to seek assistance from them.

Especially the ones that could help be of assistance and help me to ease my burdens.

A simple “can you help me” could have eased my burdens, and made it so much easier for me to overcome my situations.

And, there’s no shame in asking for help.

Sometimes, I feel shameful in reaching out and asking for help from others, despite the problem being too large for me to overcome and handle.

Consciously, I’m aware these people I’m asking for help have the right resources, experience and knowledge to overcome this situation.

There’s a fear of “What if I’m bothering them? What if they get mad at me?”

But, what I realized is this- when I start reaching out to others for help, more often than not they’re more than willing to be of assistance to me!

Most people are more than happy to help and to guide you, especially when you’ve reached your wit’s end.

If you’re in a situation today where you feel there’s no hope, ask for help from others!

 

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.”
Matthew 7:7

 

It can be the turning point you have so desired in your situation.

This leads to the next point.

 

7. Be humble. Be Teachable.

When you do ask for help from others, be humble and be teachable.

Instead of coming from a place where you’re asking for approval and permission to do something, come from a posture of humility, and wanting to learn.

Be willing to accept corrections, and constructive criticisms.

Be open to hearing their input, and exploring different perspectives and opinions.

Do not reject their wisdom.

Take wise counsel into consideration, and do not take these words of wisdom lightly.

 

“Poverty and disgrace come to him who ignores instruction, but whoever heeds reproof is honored.”
Proverbs 13:18

”Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning.”
Proverbs 9:9

 

And, that marks the end of the Mid Year Reflection Series!

Do pray that you have felt blessed by the sharing, and I do pray it will have a powerful and positive impact on your life!

 

Thoughts? Questions? Leave them in the comment section below, or drop us an email at hello@positivitylab.co 🙂

I’d love to hear from you!

 

Live Life Positively,
Ben